Call time: 4:30pm Location: Fox Studios, Stage 19

You are probably wondering, "What's with the picture of a cupcake?"  Well, I'll get to that in a minute. Be patient. First let me tell you about my latest booking.

One of the best gigs to get when you work Background is a sitcom. They are fun and work fast, especially a successful sitcom that's been around at least 2 seasons. Generally speaking, you work less than 4 hours and get  paid the full 8 hours.  Today, I'm working a very successful CBS sitcom on the Fox Studio lot. I've been booked as the RECEPTIONIST at a hair salon.

I arrive at the Fox Studios early because ever since 9-11, security at the studios have been ramped up so I don't want to be late because my belt keeps going off with the metal detectors...yes, I said metal detectors. It's like the freakin' airport. But you never know. Al Qaeda may get confused and blow up the New York City street back lot at Fox, Warner or Universal.

Anyway, I make it through security and head over to Sound Stage 19 where the sitcom tapes. This particular sitcom does not tape with a live studio audience. They use a laugh track so the atmosphere is very laid back, fun and informal. Love that. I find Background Holding (upstairs, behind the stage) and meet my fellow BGAs. We're around 10 ladies all patrons or hair stylist at this fictional hair salon.  Wardrobe is simple, nice street clothes so it's a comfortable shoot for us. We sit down and wait to be called. Now, when you work sitcoms, BGA holding is usually near the set so it's important that conversation is kept to a minimum. This can get pretty boring especially since BGAs LOVE to chat with one another.

So we're sitting upstairs listening to the taping that is occurring just below us, trying to stay quiet but entertained, when our stomachs start growling, "Food, we need food!"

Now I'll tell you about the cupcake because we're going to talk about CRAFT SERVICE.

CRAFT SERVICE  or CRAFTY for those in the biz, is basically a small, encapsulated version of a 7-Eleven store (minus the magazines, Lotto, cigarettes and Alcohol) that is set up on tables near the set for the sole purpose of keeping everyone wired and fat. I kid you  not. We are talking about everything and anything you can get your hands on that is loaded with sugar but ooohh so good. Let me describe a typical Crafty table:

• CHIPS - Doritos, Pringles, Lays, the latest and fanciest chips like Sun-dried tomato Parmesan encrusted chips
• DIPS - sour cream onion, salsa, guacamole, etc.
• PRETZELS - salted, unsalted, large, small, long, twisted, etc.
• CANDY - you name it, they have; from Gummy Bears to Jelly Beans, M&M's, Gum, etc.
• PEANUT BUTTER, JAM and BREAD 
• GRANOLA BARS - Chocolate, Peanut Butter, etc.
• NUTS -   Peanuts, Cashews, Almonds, etc. plus of course the TRAIL MIX.
• DONUTS - all kinds, all fattening, all delicious.
• SODA - usually 2 coolers full; Coca Cola, Sprite, Pepsi, (all diet and regular), etc.
• WATER - usually 2 coolers. Gotta keep hydrating.
• COFFEE/TEA - Flavored and regular, decaffeinated and caffeinated, herbal teas, black teas, white teas, etc. Plus of course the MILK; Soy, Non-Dairy creamers (flavored as well), Half-Half, etc.
• VEGETABLE PLATTER - celery, carrots, broccoli, etc. for the health conscious.
• FRUIT BASKET - Natural fiber is important. But don't EVER follow a Crew guy after he's used the port-a-potty!

Now, this is JUST the basics. Depending on the show or movie, the budget and the actual craft provider, you can also see the following:

• MEXICAN FAIR - tacos, small burritos, nachos, etc.
• SOUPS -  usually appears later in the evening after lunch especially during the cold months.
• CHINESE ROLLS - chicken, vegetable, etc.
• CHEESE PLATE
• COLD MEAT PLATE
• CHICKEN FINGERS with the dips
• KABOBS - Chicken and beef

And so much more....You get the picture. Crafty is there on set to keep you going during the long hours when snacking between major meals becomes essential for energy.

Now that I've described Crafty, I'll get back to the story and our growling stomachs. I head out with another BGA in search of Crafty for a light snack. We walk down the stairs and see a small cart with the coffee machine, several sodas and some granola bars. I find that very strange that a show of this magnitude would not have a bigger Craft service. We see a Crew member walking by and ask him if this is the only food available. He smiles, shakes his head and points to the other end of the studio. My friend and I tip toe (they are taping so we don't want to disturb) to the other end of the studio but when we get there we don't see anything but a wall. Again, we see another Crew guy and mime to him, "Where is food?"   He points to the wall. We look at the wall, completely perplexed. Turn back to the guy, "Where?" He makes a motion with his finger, "Behind the wall."  My friend and I walk behind the wall and...

BEHOLD.....THE MECCA OF CRAFTY!

I do not even exaggerate one iota. This was the biggest, swankest craft service I had ever seen in my entire time as a BGA or principal actress. It was not just the size of the room and the amount of food but it was the type or shall I say, the level of the food.  If Daniel Boulud had crafty service, THIS would be it. The first table to my left I'll call the FINE MEATS AND CHEESES table; Prosciutto (I'm talking about the Imported kind, the $17.00 a pound kind), Salami, Capocollo, Virginia Ham, Brie, Gorgonzolla, Gouda, etc.  This table was followed by the FINE BREADS which was then followed by the CONDIMENTS. In other words, you could make yourself a sandwich that you could only find in places like Dean & Deluca.

As you made your way around the room, you came upon the BAKERY. Here is where my heart stopped.  I thought of THE NUTCRACKER ballet. I was little Clara and I have just been whisked to the Land of Sweets by the Sugar Plum Fairy.  I must tell you I have a HUGE sweet tooth. I can put away an entire chocolate cake without skipping a beat or leaving a single crumb. I won't do it mind you, but I COULD!! The table consisted of the following tempting delights:

• CUPCAKES - and I don't mean Tasty Cakes, I'm talking about gourmet Sprinkles cupcakes like Red Velvet, decedent German Chocolate, Carrot cake, Chocolate Coconut, etc. All sizes, from the large to the small, bite size.
• CHEESECAKES - NY style, Strawberry, Marble, etc.
• PIES - apple, pecan, lemon, etc.
• TARTS - fruit, nuts, etc.
• SCONES, MUFFINS, CROISSANTS

The sheer amount of food was, I admit, overwhelming. I'd seen great crafty before, but this was amazing and perhaps, I'll admit, a bit excessive. We are talking about a sitcom, not a movie shoot that employs hundreds of people.  I wanted to eat everything and anything, but in the end, I just took a small plate of cheese, prosciutto, fruit and a bite size Red Velvet (just because I HAD to!)

I've learned through the years that as tempting as it may be, you must show restraint around Crafty. It can be intoxicating, all that food, you can easily gain 5-10 pounds during a week long shoot if you don't control yourself. I have to control myself...remember my butt story from the other day. Now that you've been educated about CRAFTY, one day, I'll tell you about CATERING. Stay tuned.